The Great Escape - Not!

Good Lord! Will this ever get better???

So, I show up last night only to realize that this guy isn’t who I thought he would be. He’s-the-guy-I-thought-it-would-be’s partner (it was tandem speed dating – 2 on 2)! I had mistakenly written down identifying information for the other guy in the guy who showed up’s space on my cheat sheet! So, instead of the possibility of me being the wrong gal since I was sure (I gotta give these guys an identifier; guy who showed up last night is JMB-jewish mama’s boy, and the guy I thought was showing up is IOW-into the other woman) IOW was-well, into the other woman, it turns out that I’m the right gal but he’s the wrong guy! You get my drift.

Anyway, JMB is talking to the hostess as I enter the restaurant with his back to the door. As I registered who it is vs. who I thought it would be, panic sets in and I bee-line to the ladies room off to the right! I stay in there for what seems like 5 minutes trying to think of how in hell I can get out of there w/o JMB seeing me!! I noticed a door at the end of the hallway as I dashed into the ladies room, maybe it leads to the parking lot or an alley. I exit the ladies room, looking to my left – coast is clear and he can’t see this far down the hall, I take the door at the end of the hallway and find myself in an employee locker room where the only exit is through the kitchen or through an emergency door that will undoubtedly set off an alarm or three.

SHIT!! No, not SHIT. FUCK, FUCK, FUCKITY-FUCK! FUCK squared, FUCK to the third power!!! (Helloooo, Potty-mouth!) When is this shit going to end?? Enough, alright?? ENOUGH ALREADY, I don’t deserve this shit, NOBOBY deserves this much negative, down-right ridiculous dating drama!

What am I going to do? I just don’t have the balls or the zeal to try exiting (read “sneaking out”) through the kitchen. I have to take my lumps (once again!!) and go through yet, another gauntlet. I have to go out, face this guy and tell him that there’s been a mistake.

It sucks to be me right now. Hell, it’s sucked to be me since August. I keep waiting for it not to suck being me and it just doesn’t seem stop sucking to be me.

Hey, how ‘bout those ‘Skins? 3 and 1, not too shabby and it’s looking good against Green Bay this weekend…………

Somehow I find the nerve to walk back out into the hall, as I stand there for a minute trying to gather my resolve and figure out how I’m going to say what has to be said, I can see JMB’s reflection in the glass of the door, sitting and waiting for someone who doesn’t want him. I guess it kinda sucks to be him right now too.

I approach him and it takes a second or two for it to register on him just who I am. (Guess that could happen when your date comes from the hallway and not through the front door!). He stands up and after a brief greeting I tell him how I thought I was meeting IOW, that I had mistakenly put down information about IOW on the line for him, and that I simply am not interested in him. He doesn’t quite get it at first, asks me if I want to have dinner anyway. I tell him, no, I don’t; that I don’t think it’s fair to waste his time or his money that way, much less my time. He takes it well. After a beat, he actually thanks me for being honest about it and assures me that it’s okay, he’s not hurt, we’ll just “call it an evening, then.”

As I’m driving home vacillating between crying, laughing and not able to do either, I realize that it is okay (no, it still sucks being me), that I learned and gained a skill from this experience. What I learned is that it really is important to keep the dialogue light, sticking to surface topics until you establish a connection. In exchanging email, neither I nor JMB had delved to deeply into one another’s head in the week between the wine tasting and the date, so when I broke the date, there honestly were no hard feelings because neither of us was vested in any way toward the other. It really was ‘okay.’ I also learned that next time use that cheat sheet! It was created for a reason, use it properly and take notes on these guys and when one of them contacts you, CLARIFY who he is, CLARIFY who you are. Be sure of who you're dealing with before you start a dialogue!

The skill I learned was (to not run away) to tell someone the truth in a direct manner. I was not going to put myself through what I went through over Labor Day weekend, and to not put myself through another disaster date required me to stand up for myself and possibly be hurtful (unintentionally) to someone else. That's not an easy thing to do, but I did it and can do it again, if necessary (please don't let it be necessary again - please!!).

Not sure where to go from here. I probably will attend another event in the future, afterall, it was my own blunder that created this latest mess, not the singles organization that arranged the wine tasting/speed date event. I haven't returned to Snatch.com and feel doubtful that I will between now and the 28th (when it expires). At some point the part that sucks has got to move on and a little luck (hopefully) will take it's place and then, maybe, I can blog about bliss, or not blog at all and just live the bliss!