Christmastime brings them out of the woodwork.
Oh I'm newly calibrated
All shiny and clean
I'm your recent adaptation
Time to redefine me
Let the word out I've got to get out
Oh I'm feeling better now
Break the news out I've got to get out
Oh I'm feeling better now
Oh I'm happy as Christmas
All wrapped to be seen
I'm your recent acquisition
Time to celebrate me
~Better Now, Collective Soul
Yes, I certainly felt ‘shiny & new.’ I don’t think my profile has seen that much action since I first posted it back in the spring!
Out of easily a dozen + hits on my profile over the holidays, there were (what I thought) two men of note that I responded to and that I went on dates with. Oddly enough, they both do the same thing professionally right down to working for the same client (different locations)! Both are smart as whips, the kind of smart where they can do calculus problems in their heads with no scratch paper! And for brainiacs, both are surprisingly witty and funny. One has looks over the other, but the other has warmth and a chemistry I couldn’t find with the former/‘looks’ one.
Alas, the sad ending to this story is that they both fizzled out and now I’m not seeing either man.
Fuck.Shit.Die.
One ‘zled’ before it could ‘fiz,’ and the other was coming from somewhere so foreign to me – might as well be the moon or maybe it was the 4 prior marriages – that I just couldn’t connect the dots and neither could he.
I knew enough to proceed with caution. I had already told myself to look out over the holiday season. But not because I thought for a minute that I would be as inundated with hits from lonely men as I was; quite the contrary. I actually thought it would be the deadest time for dating out of the whole year. Boy, was I wrong!
Most – heck, maybe they all - were lonely souls reaching out to connect over what can be the loneliest time of year and I knew that going in. I don’t have a problem w/ this time of year. I’ve been by myself for a long time, but have always had my family close by and of course, my girls. It would’ve never occurred to me to try and actually make a connection at this time of year. Emotions can be raw and people are more vulnerable during the holidays.
I won’t go into much detail about these men, mostly because with 'Moon,' even though we connect in a lovely way and I think he is a good guy, he's way too gun-shy and I'm way too not, not to mention we are coming from polar opposite perspectives. He sees what ignighted between us as a "red light," I see it as a wonderful blessing, like I said, p-o-l-a-r. But, we have chosen to stay in touch with each other, try the friend thing. No ties. As for 'Chemistry' I’m not holding too much hope, maybe a tiny thread that he will come around. At least for about another week. Then I have to let us both go. Unfortunately, we had a bit of drama and it seems he can't get past it. I thought we had wonderful chemistry, like we were wired for each other…. But at the same time, I just can’t stay as wrapped around the axle as he is over some stress that escalated (Dude, it was the holidays! Stress deserves a spot at that table as much as the Ghost of Christmas Past! Let it go, already.).
One of the things that has resulted in this latest shower of men, is that I went in and changed my profile around. I originally had concluded my profile with a paragraph about what my intent was, i.e., finding a LTR, encompassing trust, communication, and honesty, etc. blah, blah. Standard stuff for the normally challenged. So, I just took the concluding paragraph and made it my intro, thinking just maybe I'd up my odds that the next guy will read enough of it to know I'm not looking to: serial date/be a Mommy to their kids/bankroll thier Wii or Playstation habit. I truly am beginning to believe what one guy told me a while back: Guys don’t read all that shit. They don’t. They look at your pictures, see if you smoke, drink, want kids and maybe look at the drivel to the right/left that “highlights” your personality. That’s it!
I had been left wondering more than once whether or not this guy or that guy ever even read my profile, as they sure don't seem to get me; and now I'm positive that most don't. I mean what guy would respond to a woman who states very matter of fact-ly that she is interested in a LTR when he has been married 4 times and has no intention of getting involved in a LTR anytime soon??? That would be a guy that doesn't read your profile. Yep. That guy.
I quote: "I need about 5-years of 'water under the bridge' before I can even consider a serious commitment."
Honest.to.God.
Talk about a Red light!
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
She's so Fake
I’ve been off of here for a while (again), holidays, business travel and man drama take up a lot of time!
With total and complete trust and permission I wanted to post part of a recent email exchange I had with a girlfriend of mine in South Carolina, who is also trying to find a tiny piece of happiness via the internet dating highway. She put up a bit of a ‘sting’ operation to catch her then current (now past) suitor in what one might call typical 'player games and nonsense.' She had suspected that although he was talking exclusivity with her, he was still trolling for other women while telling her she was his #1.
Read on for the details. All I can say is this took some cajones. I don’t know that I could do it.
As for me and Mr. Miami, we're officially done. I made a couple of comments about him still being on the site (especially since he's the one who was talking exclusive), and he said the predictable met-him-online bullsnit – “why are you spying on me? you should trust me.if you see me on there, you must be on there too.” Finally, I got quiet on it, and I figured I'd let things work themselves out…...in the form of me creating a fake account with a fake picture and having him hit on me.
We (I mean the fake me and Mr. Miami) had a long chat session wherein he told me that he had recently met a person (presumably me, but I don't doubt there were others) but there was no chemistry. The fake me was divorced (as he is), and he kept saying that we understood each other because we were both seeking our second chance at love. Then - he asked for my (the fake me) phone number in the first friggin' chat session. This - after he and I (the real me) had emailed for days before exchanging digits. I (the fake me) just said a very reserved - I prefer to take things slower and left it at that.
Oh - and get this - he was texting me (the real me) as he was chatting (IM-ing)to me (the fake me). He had asked (real) me earlier in the day if I would fly to MIA to see him, and I told him I had to check on a few things. So in his text, he asked me if I had bought my ticket, and I said I hadn't. He just left it at that. The next day, he called me and told me that I wasn't as committed as he was...to which I said, oh, really? And he said I was immature, to which I said, is that so? And he said, yes, and I can't do this anymore, to which I said, ok, cool. What an effin' prick! I was disappointed, but I can't say I'm surprised. Something in the milk wasn't clean from the very beginning.
God! This is so sad in so many ways! What if she hadn't set up the ruse? I'm sure she would've found him out sooner rather than later; she's a smart cookie, afterall. But there he goes, perpetuating the sterotype.
It reminds me of a recent email I sent back to her detailing my recent man drama and how I gave a guy props because he actually called me back to tell me he didn’t think he could continue on the current course we were taking. I gave him props because 98% of the men that I’ve had the opportunity/misfortune to meet on-line would have just disappeared – and some did – rather than call me to communicate such a thing. Yet, it is with a furrowed brow and incredulous look in my eye, that I ask you “Must I give him props for doing the right thing??”
Man-o-man, this is a sad state of affairs (no pun intended).
With total and complete trust and permission I wanted to post part of a recent email exchange I had with a girlfriend of mine in South Carolina, who is also trying to find a tiny piece of happiness via the internet dating highway. She put up a bit of a ‘sting’ operation to catch her then current (now past) suitor in what one might call typical 'player games and nonsense.' She had suspected that although he was talking exclusivity with her, he was still trolling for other women while telling her she was his #1.
Read on for the details. All I can say is this took some cajones. I don’t know that I could do it.
As for me and Mr. Miami, we're officially done. I made a couple of comments about him still being on the site (especially since he's the one who was talking exclusive), and he said the predictable met-him-online bullsnit – “why are you spying on me? you should trust me.if you see me on there, you must be on there too.” Finally, I got quiet on it, and I figured I'd let things work themselves out…...in the form of me creating a fake account with a fake picture and having him hit on me.
We (I mean the fake me and Mr. Miami) had a long chat session wherein he told me that he had recently met a person (presumably me, but I don't doubt there were others) but there was no chemistry. The fake me was divorced (as he is), and he kept saying that we understood each other because we were both seeking our second chance at love. Then - he asked for my (the fake me) phone number in the first friggin' chat session. This - after he and I (the real me) had emailed for days before exchanging digits. I (the fake me) just said a very reserved - I prefer to take things slower and left it at that.
Oh - and get this - he was texting me (the real me) as he was chatting (IM-ing)to me (the fake me). He had asked (real) me earlier in the day if I would fly to MIA to see him, and I told him I had to check on a few things. So in his text, he asked me if I had bought my ticket, and I said I hadn't. He just left it at that. The next day, he called me and told me that I wasn't as committed as he was...to which I said, oh, really? And he said I was immature, to which I said, is that so? And he said, yes, and I can't do this anymore, to which I said, ok, cool. What an effin' prick! I was disappointed, but I can't say I'm surprised. Something in the milk wasn't clean from the very beginning.
God! This is so sad in so many ways! What if she hadn't set up the ruse? I'm sure she would've found him out sooner rather than later; she's a smart cookie, afterall. But there he goes, perpetuating the sterotype.
It reminds me of a recent email I sent back to her detailing my recent man drama and how I gave a guy props because he actually called me back to tell me he didn’t think he could continue on the current course we were taking. I gave him props because 98% of the men that I’ve had the opportunity/misfortune to meet on-line would have just disappeared – and some did – rather than call me to communicate such a thing. Yet, it is with a furrowed brow and incredulous look in my eye, that I ask you “Must I give him props for doing the right thing??”
Man-o-man, this is a sad state of affairs (no pun intended).
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