dating hell

Internet Dating Hell - part deux (or Dude, Fish or Cut Bait....much?)

Wow. I just reread my first post. I have so matured since then; what a novice I sound like. Shocking, really. I do still cuss like a sailor, though.

I have to start by saying I already typed this once, then did a preview on blogger, read it, realized I needed to further edit, so I hit the “back” toggle and promptly lost my entire entry. I almost cried, probably should have just gone ahead and bawled for the lost entry and the experience of having lived it.

*sigh*

Since we last got together….

From Snatch.com, I’ve kicked one eligible bastardor to the curb after 8 weeks of emails, text messages, and 2 brief (as in seconds, not minutes) phone calls. Seems he had issues with SHITTING OR GETTING OFF THE POT!! Then I spent a week emailing a sweet and charming fellow that was on vacation in the Midwest all last week. This one seemed very promising; but upon his return he played clueless as to what the next ‘step/level’ included (a date asshole, that’s what the next step/level includes) and then proceeded to tell me (like he’d already told me) that he had ‘that pesky wedding’ to attend this coming weekend; thus, he wouldn’t be about to plan a date for. How about another week of email and phone chatter?? When I suggested a midweek date after work, he apparently entered into the witness protection program, because I haven’t heard from him since (and he had even given me his phone number). Another one that CAN’T CLOSE A DEAL!!

Oh, but I’ve barely begun!

Meanwhile, over on eharmonywannabe.com, after crashing through 78 layers of compatibility firewalls, I finally get to an email forum on the site in which to communicate spontaneously with my ‘match.’ It is at this point that I am informed by PBF #3 (the ‘P’ is for potential) that he is off on vacation for the next week, followed by a brief visit to see a friend who is recovering from surgery. Oh, and internet access will be intermittent. But it was great hearing from you, really.

Not to be outdone, Yeehaa Personals.com has sent me a delightful candidate for consideration. He is a 23 yo mechanic we shall call ScaryMech. ScaryMech, apparently wants to dip his stick….in me. Usually, I’d be flattered, young stud and all; but there’s something distinctly, how shall I say, CREEPY about his message:

Datergirl, You're gorgeous, very sexy.
My name is ScaryMech, I'd love to chat,
i think you are very attractive and your desires are my bidding.
I wish you the best and hope to talk soon.
yahoo messenger: ScaryMechlove
your smile!~ SEXY
can i interest you in a date?
MILF

Bidding? I’ll bet he has a ‘safe’ word all picked out and everything.

Just about the time I think I’m going all-in with the towel, Mr. Gorgeous emails me. This guy is all that and a bag of chips (slightly height challenged, but I gotta start compromising my standards somewhere, right?). But, guess what? Yep, he’s on travel all friggin’ week!!! Can you believe this shit??? Is somebody in town for the start of this relationship? Oh, yeah, that would be ME! I’m here, I’m ready, I’m game. WTF..... seriously, simply put, what the fuck??? I am not a zodiacologist, but even I checked out my horoscope after this latest, cuz my stars are seriously busted!! It’s raining men in every town but Datergirl-town (unless you count the creepy mechanic, which I’m not)!!

To say I’m optimistic about Mr. Gorgeous would be overstating it a bit. Let’s just say that – believe it or not – I’m optimistic about being optimistic about Mr. Gorgeous.

See why I should’ve just cried?