Quality Control

I believe my days on the internet dating scene are definitely numbered, if not done. This journey started out positive, upbeat and with promise. It ends negative, worn out and, I'm afraid, with little hope.

I can't seem to weed out the wieners, duds, gonzos, flakes, and misfits. They start out promising, but, usually pretty quickly, wind up reveling character traits or behavior that is decidedly not what I'm looking for, not to mention less than attractive.

Take the latest. Kind, nice, smart, very good sense of humor ('excellent' shall be reserved for when I find 'the one,' for he will possess it), (seemingly) normal, somewhat attractive. He 'winked' at me, I responded in kind which kick started communication between us, which in turn sparked chemistry and we seemed to click nicely. He had no problem expressing his attraction for me and although I was attracted more to his intelligence and wit, than to his physical self (is there a pattern here??), I had realized from previous encounters, that you can't escalate that initial attraction too much. Because if it doesn't match the physical attraction when you meet, you're screwed. So, I was a little less enthusiastic with my romantic overtures and made sure I nipped anything too 'high-brow' in the bud (usual guy stuff) as soon as he uttered it (never in a disarming way and usually with humor). He continued to call and text me repeatedly throughout the next 3-4 days. Then, with nary a 'Boo' he shut down and bugged off like I had an STD. Within a 2 hour window he went from "I can't wait to hold you in my arms." (to which I didn't respond in kind, but did respond) to cutting our next phone conversation short and by the following day did not even reply to an email, much less a phone call.

*POOF*

I don't purport to know what went through his head and it took me very little time to not care either. Another Flake. I could speculate but don't believe he's worth the effort.

There is a woman in my oldest daughters' (MOD) place of work that is approximately the same age as me and MOD told her of my fiasco over the Labor Day weekend with Mr. I'll Grow on You. She, apparently, had been down this same battle-scarred path of internet dating with very similar results. Her one comment that is now ringing resonant with me is when she told MOD that there is far more Quantity over Quality on the internet dating scene; and she is soooooo right. My latest encounter, above, is dictionary definition of just that. No. 347,186,000 out of a billion.

I realize that as my time on the internet dating scene evolved, I became far more willing to accept behavior flaws or other defects that if encountered in a face-to-face match-up would immediately send up guard rails and deploy riot police in my head. I accept this fact and would now like to amend that flaw in character judgment in myself. Please note: If you aren’t up to par within a 24-hour period of initial contact and communication, I’m done. Can’t carry a conversation? Done. Your laugh doesn’t make me smile or laugh, but makes me cringe? Done. Can’t manage to keep your head (followed by your mouth) out of the gutter long enough to not turn every word out of my mouth into innuendo? Done. Don’t have some kind of connection with your family (providing you have one, and they aren’t convicted felons)? Done. My dog doesn’t like you? Really done!!

When your part of a lottery system you find that you will compromise a lot to win a prize or be the prize won. I mean when your odds are 10,000 to 1 (or even higher, depending on your market) that you'll walk away with the Power Ball -much less - not have to split your winnings with 3 other ticket holders, you begin to compromise and lower your standards, whether you mean to or not. Or at you least start to overlook other less appealing traits, habits, ticks, and such.

In as much as I have a foot in both worlds of thought, first that we make our future and can create our own destiny; and second, that things happen for a reason (I know they are completely contradictory to each other, but I better my odds :-) I know that I’m either meant to find/discover someone far better suited to me than anyone Snatch.com or any of the other dating sites has to offer or that he is going to happen to me.

Having said all that, instead of giving up, I’m just going to try a new venue. The same woman I mentioned above that works w/ MOD told her about a national organization that caters to singles on a local level (w/ chapters in every major city). They sponsor all different kinds of social events, from speed dating-to hikes or bike rides-to 10-day all inclusive vacations. Membership’s free, but you do have to pay for the events you wish to participate in and the cost ranges from $5 to the thousands for the vacation getaways. Her opinion of this organization was so positive and glowing (she had great results), I’ve decided to try it myself. So, I’ve signed up for one of the events this weekend. No doubt I’ll be writing here next week.

And for any male readers, you can easily change the gender references and behavior flaws I've mentioned above and more or less have the same opinion of trying to find Ms. Right on the internet; this is not meant as an anti-men bash, just my personal experience. So, please refrain from bitch bashing me.