I went to a 4-minute speed date accompanied by a wine and cheese tasting Saturday evening. It was my first time ever experiencing this sort of social event for the pure purpose of seeking out a potential date or mate. I can say that it wasn’t as difficult or intimidating as I expected it to be; and although the organizers couldn’t control all aspects of an event like this, they did do a good job at essentially getting everybody to the table, so to speak.
There were about 35-40 women and what appeared to be an equal amount of men. Essentially, the women line tables with their backs to the wall, 2 to a table, the men then come in and sit opposite the ladies on the inside of the room. You talk for 4 minutes, which can be either excruciatingly long, or too terribly short. Each table has a cheese tray upon it and there are several wine glasses. We had 6 whites and 4 reds with tastes being poured every other rotation.
Unless you were at the table occupied by the evenings’ lushes!! Then you got up and got your own…
(Lush:) “God Damn bottle of wine!” (Steward:) “Mam’, the pours occur every other rotation. That is how this wine tasting is being done; there’s not enough wine for you to have your own bottle; and you and some of the other guests cut down on what supply we had by drinking some of the wine before the event even started.” (Lush:) “But he’s not pouring!!!”) This woman wouldn’t give up, she kept getting up and getting her glass filled, or just taking a bottle from the table in the center of the room. I think, with the exception of a few, the men felt like this table was a gauntlet they had to endure rather than a 4 minute conversation. The more wine these women consumed, the more obnoxious and bold they became. One guy made a comment to the effect of ‘Glad that’s over.’ Kinda sad. And yet, since they were the table before mine, they only served to make me look better and I already looked good!! ;-)
Only the men rotated, the women stayed stationary, which is typical. You were given a sheet of paper with a matrix on it where you would put their first name and a number from their name tag, then you had two columns to the right where you could check ‘interested/not,’ and finally to the right of that there was a line to make note of what they were wearing….on their chin, so that later you could remember them by that description/note. I didn’t immediately make use of the form, I thought you were only supposed to put down those that you actually had an interest in, so there were several rotations before I made use of it!
As the evening wore on, I found the interface interesting but the venue boring (it was held in a hotel conference room). I kept thinking how surreal it was to meet people this way. Some men seemed expectant, as if I were to do some trick or say something magical or clever that would set me a part from the rest of the herd thus earning me their coveted attention and interest; some came with their life story already memorized and proceeded to sell themselves, much like an pre-owned certified Honda (“One previous owner, no major wrecks, and I was never in New Orleans, I swear!”). There were a few that were genuinely warm, sweet and mildly charming – perhaps possible dating material. And then there were the handful of misfits, either physically challenged in some manner, or painfully shy, or just ill-equipped socially. My favorite (in a very non-favorite way) was the Japanese entry. He came with his own cheese stash that he started at the first table and would augment at each table with about ½ of whatever was on the main cheese platter. He didn’t speak very good English and what he did speak was heavily accented. So that ‘journalist’ came out (after 3 attempts) as ‘urnalish.’ I was able to ascertain after the first 2 minutes that he was a journalist from Japan, here in the nation’s capitol covering politics. For who or what back in Japan I never could understand; and so, painfully I waited for the next 2 minutes to pass while he sat across from me and proceeded to eat more and more cheese and drink a rather large pour of red while the rest of us were still on whites (hmmmm? That’s odd, I thought at the time, not realizing that half our wine supply had already been consumed.) and continued to speak, in shattered English, occasionally breaking into a great big grin that showed a grey piranha toothed smile. Apparently, he was with the group that short-changed the rest of us on wine pours, so he was well on his way to full-on drunk by the time he got to me, and I don’t think he made it another 2 tables before he passed out and they had to put him at a table in the center of the room surrounded on either side by event staff (wouldn’t you like that job: “Damn, I gotta take care of the drunks again! I pulled drunk duty last week!”) where he sat for the remainder of the evening chin firmly holding his chest down in the chair. He was so drunk, the event staff had to bring up a wheelchair at 10 pm to haul his inebriated ass downstairs!!! Needless to say, I was soooo glad to hear the words “rotate please!”
All-in-all, it was a pleasant learning experience. I didn’t meet anyone that made my heart (or any other anatomy part) particularly take notice, and I didn’t much mind whether or not anyone contacted me from this event.
Monday
So, imagine my surprise when I got an email from one of the guys on Sunday evening. All of a sudden, I realized the importance and reasoning behind the cheat-sheet form that they handed out!! You can’t remember all the CPAs, Lawyers, Software Engineers, or Analysts – many of which have common names, ie, Mike, Tim, Dave, Michael, Timothy, David –that you meet in a 4-minute slot!! So, I checked my sheet and luckily I had put a description of what this guy was wearing, so in this instance I was able to put a face to the name and number. Only thing is, as I recall, he was far more into the other woman at the table then he was me. So, I’m wondering, did he mismatch names to descriptions on his cheat-sheet?
Tuesday
Apparently not, I received another email from him and it would seem that I am the choice of his attention. Hmmmm, I guess I could chalk it up to his being too shy to appear initially interested, but interested enough none-the-less? That’s my Son-in-laws’ theory, maybe he knows this behavior himself…? So, we’ve proposed a date later in the week. I’m thinking coffee or drinks, I’m a bit uneasy committing to dinner. Although, I have met, seen, and talked to the guy. Would an hour be that hard? We’ll see when he contacts me again.
Wednesday
Looks like dinner Thursday night. I’m either a complete and utter optimist/fool or a glutton for punishment! I think it will be okay though, he actually seems fairly normal and maybe even equal to me in being both open and guarded. I'm going to go out on limb and make the assumption that I don't have to worry about him crying at the table (I know, I know don't ass/u/me anything!). What ever shall I wear? (All the lessons in the world and I still will worry about how I look! I'm such a girl!
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